And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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