So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
