Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
did i walk over a car last night?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
