I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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