you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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