that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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