That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
