so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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