i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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