Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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