awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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