Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize