I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You can't special order awesome
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
