I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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