getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
