We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
