i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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