I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
