Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
