She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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