nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
