I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
