Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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