Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize