I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
