So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
PANTIES FOUND
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
