arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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