I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
