oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I would ride that face into the sunset
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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