Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
