You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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