I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
