He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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