i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
