plz talk dirty to me
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
