so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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