No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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