someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
