I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
