dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
