Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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