Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
