you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
