Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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