I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
