I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
