I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
