4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
