I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
