I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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